death is "naturally"..

[mood] thoughtfully
[music] nightwish - amaranth
_____

right. but why does it always gets the wrong persons in wrong timing?

why people, who get sudden sick cant heal suddenly? why do people feel great at the one day but at the next day they feel so bad?
why does this death reminds me so much of my 1st. died granny? =[
and again there is this fucking bad feeling..i know, i have to keep her in my mind as i knew her..but i really was dying to visit her in hospital as often as i could. i was dying to say to her "hey, here i am, how are you today, you wanna go out for a walk, you want something to drink?"
today i wanted to visit her again with my parents, because i knew, that it might happen soon.
i knew exactly, that my wish to see her again and the will to visit her again today was to late, when my mom was standing in my room at 5.30 am and looked at me with totally no emotion. "can you care about the dog today? m. [name unimportant] is driving to hospital right now and i will drive to p. [name unimportant too] that she wont be alone." i exactly knew it. "sure. what happened?" nevertheless the answer was like someone hits you right in your face. "she died few minutes ago.."

- dead silence -

14.10.07 21:34
 


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